Practising what I preach

This week, I truly practised what I preach. I stepped right out of my comfort zone.

I delivered my first public talk at Tullie House, sharing my experience of loss during the early postpartum period. I spoke about how this shaped my mental health, but also how it became the beginning of turning inward. Facing my shadows, healing the parts of myself I’d suppressed for years, and borrowing some of my brother’s bravery to keep moving forward.

This experience led to huge life changes (for the better) that often come with life-altering events like losing someone so close to you. I also touched on some of the systemic changes that are so desperately needed, and where I was personally let down by the very system I worked in for seven years.

The thing is… fear almost won.

This talk was deeply personal. And truthfully, I very nearly pulled out the week before because my nerves were getting the best of me. I was self-sabotaging by not taking the action I knew that I needed to. My inner critic was louder than ever, and every negative comment I’d ever received somehow seemed to echo louder than an airport tannoy.

Here’s the thing. Your nervous system wants to keep you safe. It’s hardwired for comfort. So just when you’re on the edge of real growth, anxiety kicks in. It feels like every part of your body is trying to convince you that this is a terrible idea.

Want to know how I overcame it?

1. I acknowledged the fear.
I placed my hand on my heart and said, “Thank you for protecting me, but I’m safe now.”
This small act helps me acknowledge my anxiety instead of suppressing or judging it. It speaks to the part of me (my inner child) who so desperately wanted to feel seen, but was too frightened to step into her light.

2. I reached out for support.
I spoke to the people who understand me and my journey best, and asked for help. Those who knew what a huge deal this was for me, and allowed myself to gently be held accountable and reminded of who I am. Public speaking is something I would never have done a few months ago, let alone on something so personal. Without that support system, fear might have won.

3. I held myself accountable.
I reminded myself how frustrated I’d be if I didn’t at least try. The scariest part of growth is being prepared to fall, and being strong enough to get back up again.

It’s taken me a few days to reflect and truly celebrate myself. I don’t have it all together, and my brain still reverts to old habits. Here’s a glimpse into the conversation I had with my inner critic, and how I gently reframed each thought:

“Only six people turned up. I told you this was a bad idea.”
Six people came to hear my story. That’s six lives I may have impacted for the better. That’s not failure; that’s courage.

“You didn’t prepare properly — this could have been so much better.”
You’re right, I didn’t. I was stuck in my head. But I still showed up, and that matters. Now that I’ve done it once, I know exactly what I’ll do differently next time.

“You didn’t land the right points.”
It wasn’t perfect, and it didn’t need to be. This was a first step, and progress always begins imperfectly.

“What are you even doing? People don’t care about your story.”
People do care. There’s someone out there who will connect deeply with what I shared, and maybe even feel less alone because of it. That’s what this is about.

“One person can’t facilitate real change.”
Every movement begins with one person who cares deeply. Passion is contagious, and change always starts with someone willing to go first.

I haven’t always been able to do this for myself. In this instance, it took a few days to come back to compassion and self-kindness.

This is exactly what I guide my coaching clients through.  Learning to reframe their inner dialogue, practise self-compassion, and celebrate themselves as the remarkable individuals they truly are.

I invite you to take a moment and reflect on your own experience of stepping out of your comfort zone.

✨ How did it feel when you’d completed it?
✨ What would you do differently next time?
✨ If it didn’t go to plan, were you kind to yourself afterward?

Use these journal prompts to explore your answers:

• Where in my life am I staying stuck in order to feel comfortable?

• What is the cost of staying where I am, versus having the courage to move forward?

• How can I gently practise pushing my comfort zone?

Stepping outside of your comfort zone rarely feels comfortable, but that’s exactly where the transformation begins.

If this reflection resonated with you, I’d love to stay connected.

You can join my mailing list for mindset tools, journal prompts, and gentle encouragement to help you grow with compassion and courage.